Guen, my officemate at IMC gave me this following pics… You know it was taken during my last few weeks at our office. Its kinda dramatic and crazy, but I like it since its unique and a little bit wild… here we go and enjoy!
Cool pics! August 31, 2006
Unexpected… The big shock! August 26, 2006
Hmmmm, its been hell! I hate it… I hate it…
Im happy that at last Im moving out… I mean finding a new place to begin, especially to work at!
Im happy that at last Im moving out… I mean finding a new place to begin, especially to work at!
I hate coz I have been processing a lot of papers and the hell I couldnt just get the result right away… Its really a tiring week… this week is full of moving around places, payment there and here and buying some new stuff… gggggrrrrr… exhausted!
Then later on, I get my result of xray… and the findings is…
” IDIOPATHIC DILATATION OF THE LEFT VEIN OF PULMONARY CONUS”
whats the hell that mean? why is it its not negative? I know im not healthy, but im not sick, really sick… I know theres something wrong inside of my body particularly the right part of my heart. Its hereditary you know, I just knew when I was in college and I accepted it… Yup I always see to it I have medicines in my purse whenever the pain goes out… Its not CURABLE but MANAGEABLE! and now this, I was shocked when I found out the findings about my lungs its triggers and bothers me a lot… “please dont get me so sick, my heart is just enough now, please not this anymore” I always say in silence…
I still have to go to our doctor for consultation and hope its not too bad… its really depressing you know…
and what really hurts?, knowing that your love of your life is gone forever now… I mean when I heard the news that his getting married (actually date and the church and all those preparations)… I feel that I was stab many times… so much hurt and pain…
I’ll stop these now coz I cant help but to cry…
The effect of being bored! August 19, 2006
When I’m bored I usually get sleepy but the hell I dont want to sleep. So I find ways to lift up my moods to anything… just to get rid of this boredom. Then I remembered I have set of new pics today. Taken by outside and others are in the office using by the latest model of my officemates cellphones. Damn they really do have nice cellphones, just I wish I have the same too… Anyway, although the captures and the vision are not that so clear bec. of the low resolution of the cameras, I did find ways to make it more ok, I mean more presentable. And I did make it more unique according to my taste and like… Just hope you like it too the way I did… Enjoy…
Picture Frame ME
The old times…
The wound
Help
Anger/Enrage / Avert
Sketch
Friendship
Chances and Opportunity August 10, 2006
Why is it I feel that these things really difficult for me? I mean honestly they are only few great chances and opportunity that really came to my life. Ive been waiting for it, for ages and it seems that it will never come. You see Ive very bothered now, my head aches extremely for thinking too much, worrying my future or the next day. I want to grow up, I mean I want to be better, I want to be successful, I want to achieve something, I want to be proud, I want to expose other things, I want to be different places. I want changes… in my life…
I am bored now, and this boredom really killing me into pieces. I dont have a boyfriend right now, or someone to be with me always, or whatever a boyfriend does… The truth is? Im still attached, “Emotionally attached to my ex”. I have true friends but they seldom sees me bec. they were kinda busy of their own lives. I hangout to my friends; “acquinted friends” but it seems I cant get along. I dated a few but I dont want it at all. I dont really enjoying it. My job is really affecting and I think Im not efficient and effective employee anymore, unlife before. And the other side of me? “I WANTED TO QUIT“. Yes I really do want to leave anything and everything here. I wanted to find myself for I can no longer feel the existence of me here. I can be around to other people but I feel that Im alone… all alone… This is so sucks, so stupid and so senseless (tears falling down my face)…
This time Im currently applying for other companies for the reason I didnt enjoy it now. The love of my job? just fades… fading…. There are some great companies I applied but some of them rejected me, some I was not able to pass, some didnt bothered to call me and the rest Im still waiting for the final results. Ive been praying, wanting it eagerly for those companies, Im very confident, so confident that they didnt see the potential in me? I mean why reject me instead of giving chances at all? Im so unlucky, I consider myself very unlucky now… (sobs)
I dont want also to be unfair or bias to my current company now. I mean I want to legalized and formalized it all before I leave but the grattitude of my boss, his kindness bothers me. How could I say I wanted to quit in a nice way? How can I say Im not happy anymore? How can I say Im really sorry for deciding this … (crying hard)
I guess I just need to rest to think whats really going on on me. Even I tell you? nahhhhh I myself dont know whate really wrong with me. My heads is turning around for I dont know what to think first or should do. You see my eyes really hurts and Im crying alone. (funny thing is Im in a cafe right now and people are staring back at me, arrggggggg, the hell they care!!!)
Grrrrrrr, this dramam this drama really sucks!!!
What should I do, tell me…. I’ll listen!!!
