Why is it I feel that these things really difficult for me? I mean honestly they are only few great chances and opportunity that really came to my life. Ive been waiting for it, for ages and it seems that it will never come. You see Ive very bothered now, my head aches extremely for thinking too much, worrying my future or the next day. I want to grow up, I mean I want to be better, I want to be successful, I want to achieve something, I want to be proud, I want to expose other things, I want to be different places. I want changes… in my life…
I am bored now, and this boredom really killing me into pieces. I dont have a boyfriend right now, or someone to be with me always, or whatever a boyfriend does… The truth is? Im still attached, “Emotionally attached to my ex”. I have true friends but they seldom sees me bec. they were kinda busy of their own lives. I hangout to my friends; “acquinted friends” but it seems I cant get along. I dated a few but I dont want it at all. I dont really enjoying it. My job is really affecting and I think Im not efficient and effective employee anymore, unlife before. And the other side of me? “I WANTED TO QUIT“. Yes I really do want to leave anything and everything here. I wanted to find myself for I can no longer feel the existence of me here. I can be around to other people but I feel that Im alone… all alone… This is so sucks, so stupid and so senseless (tears falling down my face)…
This time Im currently applying for other companies for the reason I didnt enjoy it now. The love of my job? just fades… fading…. There are some great companies I applied but some of them rejected me, some I was not able to pass, some didnt bothered to call me and the rest Im still waiting for the final results. Ive been praying, wanting it eagerly for those companies, Im very confident, so confident that they didnt see the potential in me? I mean why reject me instead of giving chances at all? Im so unlucky, I consider myself very unlucky now… (sobs)
I dont want also to be unfair or bias to my current company now. I mean I want to legalized and formalized it all before I leave but the grattitude of my boss, his kindness bothers me. How could I say I wanted to quit in a nice way? How can I say Im not happy anymore? How can I say Im really sorry for deciding this … (crying hard)
I guess I just need to rest to think whats really going on on me. Even I tell you? nahhhhh I myself dont know whate really wrong with me. My heads is turning around for I dont know what to think first or should do. You see my eyes really hurts and Im crying alone. (funny thing is Im in a cafe right now and people are staring back at me, arrggggggg, the hell they care!!!)
Grrrrrrr, this dramam this drama really sucks!!!
What should I do, tell me…. I’ll listen!!!
