“Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn’t let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can’t outrun it and life always makes more.”
last penny dropped off.. October 26, 2007
My cousin’s son came to visit our house last Saturday. My elder sister was so fond of him, thats why she insistently drag him to our home to stay for an overnight. DG is a six year old child. He was brown and thin. He wasn’t this thin before the last time I saw him but now he was so close to being malnourished. I couldn’t blame my cousin for his son’s upbringing since she was also suffering from financially incapacity and I guess it affect DG’s health. I could not just explain how I feel when I looked to his eyes… it was sadness, I think the saddest eyes of a child I ever seen. Though he will smile when we offer him something, like food, money but then he doesn’t accepts it so eagerly and offer his little hand to you instead he will just refuse it shyly; unlikely any other child will do. He always talk about his little sister Glaydin, always reminds us to give her something also though he already save it for himself. hehe
He was simply so thoughtful for his age. He even talks like a man. He confess to us how poor they were coz there’s a time that they didn’t eat something bec. theres no food around. And I felt an itch in my heart. So pity of him to experience such a difficult life at a very young age. No wonder his eyes are so sad, maybe he can really feel the burden of the life he had. The following day, i feel to give him something thats why I bought him two plastic bags of groceries, though I don’t have extra bucks in my pocket, swear! but I want to give it away for a little gesture… and whats the use of credit card by the way? hehe
I couldn’t just deny today that poverty is one of the most major common problem in our country. The are many factors and additional “themes” seen to be direct causes of poverty like macroeconomic issues, unemployment issues, problems in the agriculture, health sector, governance, politics concerns, and armed forces conflict. I dont know whats the major cause of it but I believe the government could still do something about it. Afterall our country still has something to boast and compete in terms of economic growth. If only we had the capability and time to be much concern of each other; but the fact remains that we tend to live, care and value on our own dilemnas and lives. DG’s reminds me of the other youths out there; wishing and hoping that they will have a better life.
Hopefully…
Though how i am being anti-govt is? But hey I still care…
now thats smiling
a place called home
so innocent
aint she pretty?
and this?
their laughter…
hi…
i believe they could still have a better tomorrow
cage October 25, 2007
How can you get out in a cage when you are really trapped and absolutely there’s no way to get out?
will you chose to remain in the cage forever, and accept the fate? or you will just wait for someone to give you a hand to unlock the key in the cage or maybe scream, be an extremely violently disturbed or agitated until such cage will be snap apart?
sigh…
what will be the choice then?
full loaded… October 23, 2007
I wish I am totally ok now. It’s hard to pretend something alright when you strongly sense that there’s something wrong but don’t know exactly what or dont know either where to begin with. Breath in and out are not only enough. So did try asking a lot…., but sad to say it seems you dont always get the answers you need. (hahayst)
If i simply knew what it was wouldnt it be just easier to deal with it? I dont know… but maybe…..
what’s new? October 22, 2007
got a new things now, which some of them I bought from last 2 weeks… I love it and Im I want to tell the world that Im so happy to have it… haha
yup its splendid!
got my new brown havanas flip-flop, i bought it at a very very low price. *wink*
I feel in love with this quaver shoes, love the design, the color, I think it made perfectly just for me and the big plus is ? i bought this on sale… now who wouldnt want to have this?
tarang, told you it made perfectly on my feet…
we have a new pc today, actually bought by my bro last saturday, its awesome, the specs:Intel® Celeron D 2.53 GHz Processor
Windows XP Professional Evaluation
Integrated Intel Extreme Video
512MB DDR 400MHz Memory
80GB 72000RPM Hard Disk Drive
52x/32x/52x CD-ReWriter Drive
Internal Card Reader and a lot more. (just forgot the other specs)
bought at http://www.buyqube.com/
i have this shades a few months ago, but i just love to post this on this site… shades by AVON.
a gift to myself… something rewarding, something precious…
friday October 19 October 19, 2007
and its Luisa’s day, its her 23rd bday now and I wonder what shes doing all this time. I missed her. I havent seen her for weeks or maybe months I think. I manage to text her a million times to have a chit chat, hangout, saying hi, calling her attention, anything just to see her but then I wasnt able to receive a response,even just a single text, you know the idea of you’re not even worth of a simple explaination and its really frustrating. Unconsciously, she hurt me.
(naka uyab man gud, hahayst!)
I dont want to think later on she has the will or dare to leave me behind but this time she makes me feel that way. Im not mad, of course not, I understand her like I always do, maybe she doesnt need me anymore. Or just maybe we are so overly concerned to take care of our own dilemnas’. I remembered a very dear friend who once told me that friendship is still a connection even a test of time and may also involve mutual obligations such as loyalty. I want to believe that though upon knowing they are a hundred miles away from me.
I dont want to think that they are fading deteriorately. Gosh, how I missed the old times. Anyhow I still considered her as my “friend”, and to my other dear friends and will always be that way; a friend.
But things change, it always does, one of the saddest truth of all times and I cant able to stop it, anytime there souls will disperse and shift to other, somehow sooner they gonna step out in my lives as well I am to them. But Im very much satisfied that Ive known them and make a part of my convuluted life; for me its a treasure.
Im hoping that you could read this…
TO Ms. Luisa Entera:
Yot, Happy bday, and I still dont know why you didnt response to my texts and calls, youve got a very big and valid explaination to do gurl … hehehe
but hey I missed you, a lot!
be happy.
just a year ago
college days
hmmmm, This Kiss! October 18, 2007
I don’t want another heartbreak
I don’t need another turn to cry
I don’t want to learn the hard way
Baby, hello, oh, no, goodbye
But you got me like a rocket
Shooting straight across the sky
It’s the way you love me
It’s a feeling like this
It’s centrifugal motion
It’s perpetual bliss
It’s that pivotal moment
It’s impossible
This kiss, this kiss (Unstoppable)
This kiss, this kiss
Cinderella said to Snow White
How does love get so off course
All I wanted was a white knight
With a good heart, soft touch, fast horse
Ride me off into the sunset
Baby, I’m forever yours
It’s the way you love me
It’s a feeling like this
It’s centrifugal motion
It’s perpetual bliss
It’s that pivotal moment
It’s unthinkable
This kiss, this kiss (Unsinkable)
This kiss, this kiss
You can kiss me in the moonlight
On the rooftop under the sky
You can kiss me with the windows open
While the rain comes pouring inside
Kiss me in sweet slow motion
Let’s let every thing slide
You got me floating, you got me flying
It’s the way you love me
It’s a feeling like this
It’s centrifugal motion
It’s perpetual bliss
It’s that pivotal moment
It’s subliminal
This kiss, this kiss (It’s Criminal)
This kiss, this kiss
hmmm, i love kissing… the sweetest act of touch or caress with the lips as an expression of affection… yes consist of feelings and symbol of passion,
It’s centrifugal motion
It’s perpetual bliss
It’s pivotal moment
It’s unstoppable…
check this site for more kissing techniques: KISS ME
wallpapers… October 17, 2007
whew, i was browsing to my old account in photobucket and i just found out some cool and eye-catching wallpapers that i until now i cant stop staring with… hehhee
good thing i was able to save it coz i never thought before that i did saved these all … anyways its good to know and to retrieve things you’ll love before…
here you go…
heavenly irresistible
the way you love me
i made it my background at my friendster account
her hands describe it all
i see an eye and a woman holding a sword pointing to the right
devil may cry 2
nice fangs
i remember the time i saw this, i feel inlove with the girl as well as the color, the design is simply terrific
im a bloodrayne fanatic
freak…. October 16, 2007
what got me today?
well I guess I feel beautiful this day, so beautiful…
i dont know, my moods are so light today and my level of pessimism is up so high (im not on drugs as you think ok?, lol )
and i felt good on my outfit today thought its just simple c-thru dark green polo with sexy tops and brown casual knee pants, heheh
and i love to stare my shoes too, its one inch half close quaver shoes… i just simply love it…
hope this day will be so bright and good to me…
pics to follow…
in so many words… October 12, 2007
Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit gustong gusto ko talaga magsulat tungkol sa iyo, I guess I will never get tired of writing the things we had, those memories that lingers within me all over again at siguro someday mapapagod din akong magsulat sa iyo ng paulit ulit.
(sigh)
bakit kaya? ‘lam mo up to this very moment I still think of you, kahit nga masaya, malungkot, nabwubwusit, galit na galit, lahat yata ng emosyon naramdaman ko na at kahit ganun ako, damn, you stil find way to enter in my cluttered thoughts.
and i hate it.
I remember everything we had in school, that Abellana bridge we used to hangout, the very first day we met, yung bet natin, playing chess, studying, petty quarrels, bigla akng magwawalk-out sa you then you will always run to me, hatid sundo duty mo, exchange of love notes, that dying flowers you gave me (haha), the food you always bought me, the sweet words, your early texts, your calls, your hug…everything!
I remember it everything as one of the happiest days of my life.
Its been 3 years now, and hindi ko pa nakakalimutan, lahat lahat. Daming tanong kung bakit nag kaganito tayo, why do you have to leave me so early, so so so early. Every people around me said, hindi talaga tayo para sa isat isa, hindi ko nga maintindihan kung bakit time and chances hasnt been good to us; pwde naman tayo; sa huli; forever.
I remember nga, yung day na commitment mo, i cried every night and day, sa work ko, sa street, even sa mall with my friends, sa gimmick, sa inuman, sa jeep… kahit saan. Ang daming instances na ganyan. Na kahit Im happy the whole day, basta memories of u flashes back, maluluha na lang ako; the worst hindi ko malayang naluluha na pala ako, Whether nasa gimmick ako, sa daan, dito sa office, sa jeep, sa simbahan especially sa beach. Although I don’t talk about it much anymore, besides hindi ko naman ugali talaga mag share sa ibang tao eh unless true blue friends ko sila. Because a lot of people think that I have finally move on, even I, want to convince myself that I have really move on.
Tapos babalik kana naman, then mag bibuild ng memories, yun endless talk at yun deepest never ending stare mo, tapos isang araw na naman iiwan mo ako. Why I keep believeing on you and your lies at bakit ba hindi talaga ako magagalit sayo, kahit sang daming dami mong kasalanan sa akin, why i dont hate you even all of this are enough to hate you? sucks!!
I ask myself nga why up to this time walang masamang damong nangligaw sa akin, I always pray nga na sana may dumating para naman maibsan yung sakit na nararamdaman ko. How do you expect me to be totally okay already? if you keep haunting and keep coming back. I remember during that time when we part aways, what got me always through each day is the feeling that one day in the near future, we’ll be together again. At alam mo ba, for me it was one of the deepest pain Ive gone through. Kasi pag namimiss kita, hindi ko alam how to get rid of the longingness of you, especially the moments that we had together that was so beautiful, so BEAUTIFUL.
But I know I’m much better now than last year. I’ve made a lot of changes in my life; a lot of which I’m not yet sure will turn out good. But I guess they’re all part of my “moving on and letting go process”. And I want to believe that everything is okay. That I am ok.
Sometimes there are moments na bigla lang talaga kitang mamimiss ng sobra, sobra sobra sobra. Especially when Im alone, so lonely and empty; then I felt a terrible longing for you deep in my heart.
Ang daming dami bagay gusto ko pang sabihin, e-ask sa yo at e-confess sayo, they were so many naughty things I did na hindi mo pa alam at ang dami din hinanakit sa loob ko na hindi ko nasumbat sayo. At sympre ang dami din bagay na talagang nagustuhan ko sayo, like you call me always, hugging me behind which i really love most, holding my hands so tight, your text calling me “baby, your my inspiration”, yun nalasing ka at the middle of the night and you just text me simple I love you and I freak out na baka may nangyari sa yo, sa church, your promises, even your lies, halos lahat yata nagustuhan ko sayo.
Though I know you will leave me for good, how could I wish I have the guts enough just to spit these words to you.
But I’m trying and beginning to move forward already. I had already accepted the fact naman eh, na hindi talaga tayo but honestly may katiting paring pag asa na pinahahawakan ko dito (pointing my chest) na someday we will be together again.
Lam mo ba, lagi akng nag iisa ngayon at lam ko din maayos ka ngayon; at least may mag aalaga din sayo, pero kaya ko to at gusto kung patunayan sayo na mabubuhay parin ako kahit na wala ka.
Hindi ko pa alam eh kung kailan ka pa mabubura sa buong pagkatao ko at gusto kong mangyari yun para naman matatahimik na yung kaluluwa ko.
My crazy thought that why I still write about you is I guess or maybe I am hoping that you could probably read this.
But wherever you are, I still cant deny that I still miss you.
If only you had chose me.
